Snack Size

I peer through the bushes at a playground of squealing children.

No, I think. Not today.

I'm much too hungry for the snack size.

Tentacles are Overrated

I must say, having a score of rather long tentacles myself, their function as monstrous apparatuses is far overrated. Without proper skeletal structure, the poor things just tire too easily, especially when squishing humans. Then what am I left with? Long, floppy-rubber arms.

How scary are long, floppy-rubber arms?

On Guns

Guns are for murderers whose knives aren't sharp enough. Don't be that guy.

Fresh Meat

Always...always eat the body before the blood has a chance to congeal. Well-circulated blood really helps the crunchy bits go down. Yum.