Thoughts for a Rainy Day

When it rains, I can't help but see all the cars on the highway as little microwavable soup bowls.

Cheers me right up.

What's the Fuss with eBooks?

As long as lunch is holding the book, I don't care if the words are digital or print, Kindle, nook, Sony or otherwise.

It's lunch I'm worried about, not his reading habits.

Regret

Regret is when you eat a man with more hair than you. Back hair has a way of getting stuck between the fangs.

Human Heads

I heard someone say "I'll pop his head like a zit" the other day.

Human heads don't pop like zits. They're more crunchy like a beetle, with a soft, oozy center.